Lesson 32 Asssertiveness

Coaching for College Students

Lesson 32 - Be assertive

Today let’s talk about being assertive.  In particular – being assertive to ask for things – to ask for help from a mentor, to ask for clarification, to ask for an interview with a potential networking contact, to ask for help from a professor. 

From:  The Mayo Clinic (http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/assertive/art-20044644)

“Being assertive is a core communication skill. Being assertive means that you express yourself effectively and stand up for your point of view, while also respecting the rights and beliefs of others.

Being assertive can also help boost your self-esteem and earn others' respect. This can help with stress management, especially if you tend to take on too many responsibilities because you have a hard time saying no.”

You might have to practice assertiveness – like you practice other aspects of success. 

Here are two suggestions to start being more assertive

1)    Start small – learn to be assertive in small situations and build up

2)    Learn to say ‘no’ – if you have been more on the passive side of things, say ‘no’ to some things that step on your boundaries

There are generally considered three types of assertiveness:  passive; assertive and aggressive.  The first (passive) would be considered too submission and ineffectual for moving ahead; and the last (aggressive) would be considered overbearing and also ineffectual as you cross too many boundaries and are “in a person’s face”.

Problems:

Where would you rank yourself as passive, assertive or aggressive?  Might you be different styles at different times?

How might you work on being effective in being assertive? 

How might saying “no” help you in the future.

Quote:  A turtle only makes progress by sticking out his neck (anonymous)