He fell in with the wrong crowd

“He fell in with the wrong crowd”

Blog post #30.  He fell in with the wrong crowd.

A cousin of mine died Saturday.  I haven’t seen him since his father died – maybe 10 years ago; and before that – maybe 30 years.  Growing up, he was an Eagle Scout – “Mr Clean”.  He was about five years younger than I am – so the death was not of ‘old age’.

He was a very talented musician.  That got him into nightclubs and on road trips.   I’m guessing the nightclubs and long trips away and with a group of people in bars maybe opened a door to him that wasn’t part of his “squeaky clean’ background.  (Please understand I am not implying that musicians in general can go wrong, but for him, the environment was enticing.)

By reports (largely from my sister), he became promiscuous – with both genders.  He became an alcoholic and according to reports – a belligerent alcoholic.  Both are choices he made.  Moved a long way from his parents (his father would visit him alone once a year).  My sister, who made efforts to befriend him was pushed away, but kept on loving him despite his animosity.

A friend on Facebook described him this way: “I know many of you who knew him will not remember him fondly; he could be belligerent and unkind. But I was his friend in fair and foul weather. This year was rough for him because of the loss of his sister to cancer. His spirit flagged and his body failed. R.I.P., old friend.”

In the last three years, he became a recluse – ordering in meals, and letting his body waste away. 

My point is that we all make choices, and in his case, some of his choices led him into what might be considered “The Wrong Crowd”.  Again, understand the “Right Crowd” and the “Wrong Crowd” are implying some kind of judgmental attitude and I don’t want to judge him.  His actions led to AIDS and to a slow death. 

I’ve talked about “A slip can kill you” (Blog post #23).  The more frequent the slips, the greater the probability is that slips and mistakes can happen. 

But, I want to turn this towards positive thinking. 

Who is the “Good Crowd” for you and who is the “Bad Crowd” for you?  That really depends on you – on your goals – on your motivation – your plans – your direction.  For example, if you want to get an advanced degree (let’s say a JD – Juris Doctorate – law degree), but you spend 10 hours a day playing multi-player online games; you might be in the wrong crowd.  If you want to start a new business, but you spend 4 hours at the gym a day building your muscles, you might be in the wrong crowd. 

What might be a “good crowd’? Maybe listening to positive podcasts (like the “Dr Bruce White” podcast – about 5 minutes a day – and you can listen in your car) could be a ‘good crowd’.  Maybe the ‘good crowd’ might be part of an entrepreneurial group that meets once a month to motivate and encourage one-another in their business development.  Maybe a good crowd might be the positive people, the happy people, the people going things that you agree with.  I commented about being a first year teacher and quickly learning NOT to go into the teacher’s lounge as it was so negative (and … at that time – smoke filled).  

Without being (too?) judgmental, I just tend to find myself with the uplifting, happy, positive people and steering away from the negative people.

The concept of the “Wrong Crowd” might not be all that bad, but it can tie into the time management of our lives.  I like having a beverage with friends – and visiting and having a good time.  But to do that more than once or twice a month might take away from my productivity time (and time with my family).  

  Sometimes the “Wrong Crowd” can put you on the outside of the law and outside of accepted societal norms. 

It is a choice we make – we can choice who we associate with; what ‘crowd’ we are in.  May your choices be positive!!!