He fell in with the wrong crowd

“He fell in with the wrong crowd”

Blog post #30.  He fell in with the wrong crowd.

A cousin of mine died Saturday.  I haven’t seen him since his father died – maybe 10 years ago; and before that – maybe 30 years.  Growing up, he was an Eagle Scout – “Mr Clean”.  He was about five years younger than I am – so the death was not of ‘old age’.

He was a very talented musician.  That got him into nightclubs and on road trips.   I’m guessing the nightclubs and long trips away and with a group of people in bars maybe opened a door to him that wasn’t part of his “squeaky clean’ background.  (Please understand I am not implying that musicians in general can go wrong, but for him, the environment was enticing.)

By reports (largely from my sister), he became promiscuous – with both genders.  He became an alcoholic and according to reports – a belligerent alcoholic.  Both are choices he made.  Moved a long way from his parents (his father would visit him alone once a year).  My sister, who made efforts to befriend him was pushed away, but kept on loving him despite his animosity.

A friend on Facebook described him this way: “I know many of you who knew him will not remember him fondly; he could be belligerent and unkind. But I was his friend in fair and foul weather. This year was rough for him because of the loss of his sister to cancer. His spirit flagged and his body failed. R.I.P., old friend.”

In the last three years, he became a recluse – ordering in meals, and letting his body waste away. 

My point is that we all make choices, and in his case, some of his choices led him into what might be considered “The Wrong Crowd”.  Again, understand the “Right Crowd” and the “Wrong Crowd” are implying some kind of judgmental attitude and I don’t want to judge him.  His actions led to AIDS and to a slow death. 

I’ve talked about “A slip can kill you” (Blog post #23).  The more frequent the slips, the greater the probability is that slips and mistakes can happen. 

But, I want to turn this towards positive thinking. 

Who is the “Good Crowd” for you and who is the “Bad Crowd” for you?  That really depends on you – on your goals – on your motivation – your plans – your direction.  For example, if you want to get an advanced degree (let’s say a JD – Juris Doctorate – law degree), but you spend 10 hours a day playing multi-player online games; you might be in the wrong crowd.  If you want to start a new business, but you spend 4 hours at the gym a day building your muscles, you might be in the wrong crowd. 

What might be a “good crowd’? Maybe listening to positive podcasts (like the “Dr Bruce White” podcast – about 5 minutes a day – and you can listen in your car) could be a ‘good crowd’.  Maybe the ‘good crowd’ might be part of an entrepreneurial group that meets once a month to motivate and encourage one-another in their business development.  Maybe a good crowd might be the positive people, the happy people, the people going things that you agree with.  I commented about being a first year teacher and quickly learning NOT to go into the teacher’s lounge as it was so negative (and … at that time – smoke filled).  

Without being (too?) judgmental, I just tend to find myself with the uplifting, happy, positive people and steering away from the negative people.

The concept of the “Wrong Crowd” might not be all that bad, but it can tie into the time management of our lives.  I like having a beverage with friends – and visiting and having a good time.  But to do that more than once or twice a month might take away from my productivity time (and time with my family).  

  Sometimes the “Wrong Crowd” can put you on the outside of the law and outside of accepted societal norms. 

It is a choice we make – we can choice who we associate with; what ‘crowd’ we are in.  May your choices be positive!!!

Accountability

Accountability / responsibility / discipline

Today we are talking about accountability (and the related concepts of responsibility and discipline).

Webster’s Dictionary (online) defines Accountability thusly: “the quality or state of being accountable; especially: an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility”

In everything we need to be accountable. 

Story:  In the 1980’s and 1990’s Gateway Computers were a major PC computer company.  The company was located in North Sioux City South Dakota.  It was a pretty ideal situation – South Dakota had fairly low taxes, generous subsidies to get businesses to start in the state, solid workers, cheap land and fairly cheap labor.  They shipped their computers in boxes that looked like the side of Holstein cows – with large black and white areas.

There was great success – the brand was unique enough; the cost to build was just low enough to have a reasonable profit. Ted Waitt and Mike Hammond were co-founders. 

While it is hard to remain competitive – and to anticipate where the market was going, Gateway was the first major sub-$1000 PC’s and had a good market share.  In a move that might be considered a bad choice, they moved their headquarters from North Sioux City to La Jolla California (nice suburb of San Diego) in 1998.  Gone was the concept of working from a low cost environment to an expensive environment.  San Diego is one of the ideal weather cities in the world – with moderate temperatures; as compared to a South Dakota location. 

The author suggests that moving from South Dakota to La Jolla might be a case where the owners lost vision and opted for their own comforts rather than following what had worked for them so well.  The question might be:  Was Gateway accountable to its customers, and investors.  Within 6 years of that move, Gateway was shutting down stores, cutting back on production and eventually was bought out by Acer in 2007. 

Who are you – as a person – accountable to?  How about your business – who is it accountable to?  Is there a board of directors that expects accountability – or can the managers / CEO make decisions without input or review by others?

How about self-accountability?   Can we look ourselves in the mirror at the end of the day and say “I put in a day’s worth of work today.  I accomplished my tasks and achieved all that was expected of me – and MORE”.  Or … at the end of the day, do we want to point fingers and assess blame?  “I would have gotten more done if <name> had done his work.”.  “I just wasn’t feeling up to getting my work done today” ; “I wasn’t motivated to get my work done”.

There have been times in my life when I wasn’t being accountable to others and to myself.  I was wasting time; I was thinking and doing things that maybe were not in my best interest and the best for society.  Those hours spent playing “Words with Friends” and doing computer games are gone.  Those hours with mindless television are also gone.

Accountability should also involve others.  If you are employed, you should have (at least) annual reviews – where your boss, board of directors, customers and other stakeholders give you feedback.  Even when I was a tenured professor, I always had my students do evaluations and urged them to include comments so I could improve classes.  Many times the comments first hurt a little (“You should go slower when introducing new topics” – or – “You went too slow at times and were boring”) – but I took the comments to heart and made the next time through the course better. 

As a professor, I had an annual review with my boss (either dean or department chair), I needed to review my previous year’s goals and how well I had achieved them and set out my goals for the upcoming year. Was I going to have higher student evaluations, was I going to have more publications, was I going to pursue publishing in higher-level journals, was I going to do more service.

Likewise at home, I need to be accountable to my spouse (in my case, my wife).  

Did I spend my income on ‘wine, women and song’?  Am I giving her the attention and love she deserves?

Accountability might include a mentor or personal advisor.  Meet for coffee periodically.  I meet with former students – either electronically or in person (when I can) to ask how they are doing, where they are going, what their goals are, how they are going to reach their goals.  I’d like to think it is non-judgmental on my part – but causing them to reflect on their own goals and lives.

Corporations frequently seek feedback (which is a form of accountability).  Every time you go through McDonalds, the receipt asks the customer to give feedback (and get a coupon for a buy-one-get-one for a sandwich).  Many department stores ask for feedback.  Yelp and Tripadvisors ask you to evaluate restaurants and hotels.   I have had hotels reply to my comments and thank me for my evaluation and opinion!!!

Even in academic settings, students are accountable to their professors to do the work.  Excellence work that is over-and-above what is expected earns an “A”. 

Assignment: 

Who are you accountable to?  Do you have regular reporting to them?  Does your reporting match up against your goals and accomplishments?

If you haven’t done this, sit down and create a specific plan for the next week, next month and next year.  What specifics will you complete?  How should you be evaluated?

But I don't FEEL like it

But, I don’t “feel” like it!!!

Where do ‘feelings’ come into our motivation? 

I do frequently say in my self-talk “I feel great”. But what about the negative feelings?

Think of these statements: “I don’t feel like exercising today”.  “I don’t feel like writing today”.  “I don’t feel like going to work today”. 

Have you ever said any of them?  I sure have!!

Our brain controls us – and our positive and negative statements go into the brain.  The positive statements like “I can do this” are great – but the negative statements like “I don’t feel like it”; or “I can’t do it” also affect our brain. 

Ignore the negative ones.  Make up your mind to “do it”; make up your mind to exercise; make up your mind to write; make up your mind to go to work (and to have a great day at work).

There are times when I say “I don’t feel like exercising” but as I get out of the house and on my bike or walking or jogging, that disappears like a morning fog under the warmth of the sun.  The endorphins of exercise soon overtake that negative fog. 

Over the 42 years of my marriage, there have been times when I have thoughts about not loving my wife – and have to overcome those thoughts – and make a conscious effort to love her.  We’ve heard the stories of those couples heading to divorce that by affirming each other and putting the positive thoughts about their spouse into their brain, they have stayed together and made a great marriage.

Assignment:

Today watch those negative ‘feelings’.  Did you have any?  Banish them from your brain – get up and get going!!!

A GOOD MORNING HABIT!!! I CAN DO THIS!!!!

Developing a daily routine – part I – morning

Many parts of our lives fall into place as habits.  Habits are defined as: “a settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up”. 

There is some minor disagreement on how long it takes to make a habit.  A generally accepted number is 21 days, but in a 2014 study of making habits, it ranged from 20 days to 84 days (which was the length of the study). 

Some habits might be easier and others harder to make and to become part of a routine.

Today I want us to create new habits for the morning. 

My list of morning habits:

• -          Wake without an alarm.  I regularly wake at 5:30 a.m. – no alarm, and really almost instantly fully awake.
• -          Immediately getting out of bed; stretch fully, vigorously stretch arms, swing arms to get blood circulating.  If your partner is still asleep do this quietly, but if they are awake – or you live along – with the stretch, loudly proclaim “I am READY for this day!!!”  “I WILL NAIL this day!!!” The stretch helps the body, the loud affirming helps the brain, the psyche, and the spirit.  DO IT!!
• -          Of course regular hygiene habits (teeth brushing, shaving, showering, toilet usage
• -           Eat breakfast.  You have heard the experts say breakfast is the most important meal of the day – so do it.  I have three standard breakfasts – oatmeal (from rolled oats, raisins, spices (cinnamon, ground clove, fresh ground nutmeg, all spice, vanilla, sea salt and stevia (natural sugar); or fried eggs – two over hard with garlic salt, other spices, and with American cheese; or cold cereal.  I tend to do the first two more as I think cold boxed cereal has more sugar and less nutrition.
• -          Some quick exercise – for me that is 30 sit-ups and 20 push-ups.
• -          Going through my affirmations
• -          Have some quiet time – time for prayer, reflection, scripture reading, motivational reading, podcasts or blogs.  (Subscribing to blog posts can help this).
• -          Appropriate cleaning (shower, shave, toilet usage)
• -          Appropriate clothing
• -          A final LOUD affirmation “I am READY for this day!!!”  “I WILL NAIL this day!!!” (or similar) and
• -          Out the door – with a huge smile, a ready attitude and the confidence you CAN make this one of the greatest days of your life!!!

Assignment:

So what is your morning habit?  Is it working?  Is it similar to the above?

Are you approaching your day with GUSTO?

Looking at Temporary positions in your job search

Continuing to look at internships / work experiences.

For those re-entering the job market or for those changing careers, getting experience is important.  There are times a company will have a project that will need temporary help.  These might be harder to find – but can be available.

This is where your network might come into play.  Let your networking friends know that you are looking for a new career, new job and that you are interested in a short term (‘short’ is a relative work – maybe six months, maybe a year) work assignment in the new field. 

The job (“contract”) will probably be on a more mundane level.  Most companies don’t ask interns or contractors to work on mission critical applications.  It might be data entry, data conversion (from an old system to a new system, testing, or writing documentation. 

But … it is a job, it is a job in the new field you want to work in, and … it gets your foot in the door.

In a similar vein this story:  Our neighbor went back to school and got a math teaching degree – and graduated last December.  She taught as a substitute teacher during the spring semester – including a three week position for a teacher out on maternity leave.  Yes, it wasn’t a full time position, yes, it didn’t pay like a full time position, yes, there were days she didn’t work (and didn’t get paid).  She interviewed around the area during the summer and still no position.  Recently (about eight weeks into the school year) a full time position opened as a teacher moved out-of-state.  She worked as a ‘temp’ (or an ‘intern’ or a ‘contractor’) got good recommendations and built rapport so that getting the open position was much easier for her. 

On the temporary assignment, put your best into it; make your affirmations strong about liking your position, work extra hard (not that you should ever work extra soft!).  Be nice to those around you; fit in; make friends; do your work with a minimum of oversight – and build rapport.  While it might not lead to another position within that company, it could leave to other opportunities.  Your network will be growing.  Your manager will know another manager at another company who  might know of an opening.  Come early, work later, put in your time with a smile and a great attitude.

Another story:  A former student was working at a major food processing company who was implementing SAP software.  She got in on the ground floor, took training classes, learned the ropes and built her resume.  Soon she was getting calls from headhunters looking for SAP experience.  At first she said “no” – I don’t have enough experience.  But after a few months (of more SAP experience and more recruiting calls),, she submitted to an interview, was hired at a huge increase and has gone on to being a senior SAP analyst at a major manufacturing company.

Assignment:

-          Who might you know that could have a temporary assignment?

-          How might you use that experience to get a full time position?

-          Where might you go with the right experience?

Jumping Ship - Looking at Entrepreneurship

Jumping Ship!!!

Yes, that’s right – “Jumping Ship” – forget corporate America – forget your boss – be an entrepreneur!!!

By-the-way, I like that word “entrepreneur” – it took me a while to spell it correctly!!

By definition –an entrepreneur is a person who organizes and operates a business or businesses, taking on greater than normal financial risks in order to do so.  

Is that you?  Are you ready to take on greater than normal financial risks to organize (start) and operate your own business?  In some (fortunately not all) it is a ‘sink or swim’ proposal – so really ‘jumping ship’!!!

So … let’s think about that today:

-          Is that really you?  Are a risk taker?  Are you a go-getter?  Are you ready to put in LOTS of time and effort to start your own business? 

-         

Have you REALLY thought about it – in terms of time, relationships, and money?  Some entrepreneurs spend almost every hour they are NOT sleeping doing their business.  Is that you?  What will your spouse think – when he or she – suggests a nice quiet dinner and a movie – and you say “Nope – I’ve got to get this <whatever> done.  What about family times?  Will you be able to see your daughter in her dance recital?  Or son play basketball?  Or go to their concert?  

What if almost every penny you have will go towards that business?  Are you willing to do that?

-          Are you good fit to be an entrepreneur?  Are you good with people, good with ideas, good with customer service? Are you creative and good at problem solving and critical thinking?  Can you find ways around road blocks that would stop others?

-          What are your strengths?  Can you use those for success?  Being able to have BHAG (big hairy audacious goals) is good for an entrepreneur – but is that all you have for strengths?  Visionaries are different than dreamers!!

-          Do you have PASSION?  Do you hang in there – or do you quit when things take a downturn?

-          And …. Are you determined to get to that goal – making your ideas, your company, your vision a reality?  Are you part of the statement “When the going gets tough, the tough get going”?

Now if you THINK you have the passion, the ideas and the drive to become an entrepreneur, are there ways to make it work?   I’m in the middle of becoming an entrepreneur – after retiring from being a professor for 38 years.  In some respects, I’m not doing a lot of risk.  I have a nice retirement account and could coast, but I also have a drive and passion for what I’m doing – coaching and mentoring people to make changes and reach their visions. 

Let’s say you have a great business idea – can you work on it evenings and weekends – part time while maintaining your current position?  The chapter opener was “Jumping Ship” – but that doesn’t necessarily mean that you are jumping into nothing.  Following the jumping ship analogy, you can be building your boat – your life raft in your spare time for years.  Maybe you will even take some baby steps in getting it into the water and trying it out. 

Who are your mentors?  Who is coming along side you to help you on this journey?  You want mentors who are both encouragers and realists. 

More questions:

-          What is your product?  What is the market like?  Is this a “me too” idea – or really unique? With your mentors, spouse, family, brainstorm your ideas.  Tweak your ideas.  Your idea may get better as others help with modifications and suggestions.

-          How financially viable is it?  Are people going to pay a premium price for your product – even if it is a much better product?  Spending $10 on an ice cream cone that you can get for $3 at a local ice cream shop maybe not fly.  Even if the ice cream is so much better are your customers going to pay the price?

-          How are you going to market it?  You have a great idea, maybe a great product – but it is nothing until somebody hears about it and helps push it.  For my first ebook, I gave my email to those I thought would (a) read it; and (b) talk about it.  Seth Godin talks about ‘sneezers’ – those that will, in effect, ‘sneeze’ out how much they like your product or service.  And … your network can help you here.  Don’t be ashamed to ask people to recommend your product or service.  Tell your network to write a great review for you at Amazon or Yelp or similar sites.  And … if they are not willing to recommend your product, ask them why not.  Maybe they have ideas that you have not thought of and their reluctance can help you make your product even better.

-          Can you prompt it free?  Can you blog about it?  Can you present at local entrepreneur competitions?  Are you still in college?  Does you college have entrepreneurial events, speakers, consultants?  Even if you are not in college, you might be able to find support.

-          Does your community have small business / entrepreneurial incubators?  These can help you with office support, some of the common tasks under a reasonably priced (or free) umbrella.

-         

How long are you committed?  How long can you live without a regular income?  Can you sell your car to raise funds for your business?  Can you sell your house and downsize to an apartment to get more money to startup? Can you survive on Ramen noodles for three months (or six months or a year)? Are your parents supporting you?  Assuming you are married, is your spouse committed to this?  Six months of no income can make a spouse say “enough – I’m getting a divorce”. 

-          Set SMART goals – Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time-bound.  “I will earn $5 million on this project in two weeks” is probably not attainable or realistic. 

Assignment:

-          Is entrepreneurship for you?  What questions and doubts do you have? 

-          Do some research,  What ideas and concepts do you?  How can you build on them?

-          What about your mentors?  Have you talked with them?  Have you taken the time to work with them?

Finding your "Magic Feature"

Finding your Magic Feather (attitude)

Remember the old Disney classic Dumbo?  Dumbo the elephant has big ears and is derided by the other elephants.  Timothy the mouse becomes his friend and tries to comfort him.            

(From: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dumbo):

“The next morning, Dumbo and Timothy wake up in a tree. Timothy wonders how they got up in the tree, and concludes that Dumbo flew up there using his large ears as wings. With the help from a group of crows, Timothy is able to get Dumbo to fly again, using a psychological trick of a "magic feather" to boost his confidence.”

Dumbo BELIEVES the feather is magic and is able to fly with his big ears.  In the story, as Dumbo is flying off a high platform and loses the feather and starts to fall.  Timothy convinces him the feather really wasn’t magic – and that Dumbo can really fly – and he believes and he does fly.

So, how about you?  Do you have a magic feather?  Or do you really believe in yourself?

BUT … having a “magic” feather isn’t all that bad.  I’ve had a picture of my grandchildren in my billfold.  Is it magic?  No, but when I look at that picture, my spirit soars.  Some women might wear some earrings or jewelry that was their mothers – is it magic, no, but it does affect them in a positive manner.  Others I know have a religious item in their pocket or around their neck.  Is it magic?  No, but it also gives their spirit a boast as they think of their relationship to God and His providence.

Maybe you have a “magic” mirror.  As you look in the mirror, you can stand straight, you can affirm that you can do what is ahead that do. 

Do keep your spirit up and let the magic of your thoughts, attitude and believe keep you soaring – just like Dumbo!!!