Lesson 4 - Who are you?

Coaching for College Students

Lesson 4 – “Who Are You – part I”

So, how did you do with lesson 3?  The early quote was from Lou Holtz: “Virtually nothing is impossible in this world if you just put your mind to it and maintain a positive attitude.”  Were you able to put passion and focus on something to get it done? 

Today, we are going another direction;  “Who Are You?”

This book and lessons are aimed at the college student – from pre-college (age 16/17) through graduation (about 22/23). 

First some analysis:  Most people work until the governmental retirement age.  

I’m going to use 66 as the age. You are going to be quite a bit different by 66!!  

You SHOULD be quite a bit different after four years of college – maybe not physically, but definitely in your intellectual life.

Physical: In today’s world, most people will work until they are 66 or even older.  So, assuming you graduate at 22 and work until 66, that is 44 years (or twice as long as you have been alive).  Let’s face it – a lot is going to change for you from 22 to 66.  If you play sports, you will not be anywhere as good at age 66.  While there may be some older Olympians; most will be in their teens or twenties.  (I did some quick research and found an Olympian competitor at age 72 who was in the shooting competition. ) At age 66, your body will not be like a 22 year old body.  Even if you jog faithfully and lift weights, you just will not be the same physically.

How about emotionally:  At age 22, your experiences are pretty much all academics and with high school friends and family.  At age 66, it is most likely that your parents will be dead; that some of your high school friends will be dead (and most will have moved out of your life).  You will most likely have had many emotional events in your life – marriage, children, jobs, promotions, being fired, loss of parents and friends.  At age 66, you will have experiences so many more emotional events. 

How about financial:  At age 22 when you enter the job market, you will be at the bottom.  At age 66 generally, you will be towards the top of the salary scale.  You most likely will have a house a car (or two or three), have been on exotic vacations.

In computing we talk about Complex Adaptive Systems – and how we adapt to new things in our lives.  For example, new jobs, children in our lives, health issues, our parents aging – and dying, moving and so much more.  We need to adapt.  You are on the first step of adapting.  You probably are moving (or have moved) away from home, deciding what to do with your time.  You ae adapting to new roommates, to classes, and adapting to being ‘your own person’. 

When I went away to college, I was not longer “Woody and Helen’s son; I was BRUCE WHITE”.  I was on my own (or somewhat on my own).

Complex Adaptive Systems says that life is complex – you will cross paths with many people and many ideas.   Today you might meet an interesting international student and you become friends and you study for a semester or a year in that person’s country.  You might meet a person that will be your spouse.  You might read something about technology that causes you to change your major.

A biological example of complex adaptive systems:  Crows in London like to eat nuts (and other things).  They learned to drop nuts on the street and car would run over them and break through the outside shell and they could fly down and get the inside of the nut.  But, they also went on to adapt so they ‘learned’ to drop the nuts on cross walks.  The cars still rolled over them and broke open the shell and the nuts would be in the street, but when the signal light changed and the cars stopped, they could swoop down in relatively safety and have a longer time to pick up the nuts before the light changed.

For you, you need to be flexible and evaluate the things that come your way.  

You need to adapt. And … you need to know – deep down – who you are.

Assignment:

1. 1)      Take two hours and write an essay on ‘Who I am’ – go deeper than your parents.  What deep down are you passionate about?  Are you passionate about some ideas and things?  This should be a couple of pages long.
2. 2)      Then write an essay about “Who I am at age 40”.  Picture yourself at 40 and describe your passions at age 40.
3. 3)      Then write an essay about ‘Who I am at age 60”.  Same scenario.

A quote from http://www.brainyquote.com – from Joan D. Vinge

“We are all born with a unique genetic blueprint, which lays out the basic characteristics of our personality as well as our physical health and appearance... And yet, we all know that life experiences do change us.